How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

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yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

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knock knock? who's there? a guy..... so the man open's the door and the guy clutching a knife stabs repeatedly at his chest killing him and drags his body down into his cellar locking him away from the open world. by Mad James

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why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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haha

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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why was 6 jealous of 7? 7 had a huge dick.

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Knock Knock Who's There 42

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

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What's worse than no wifi Nothing.

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a man was walking and saw a snake he was not afraid of snakes so he kept walking

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What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

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You know what helps with back pain? If you lick my butt hole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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