Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock, knock. Who's there? HIVs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the 10 year old luekemia patient get for christmas? Dead parents

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a creepy person trying to break into your house? A robber

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Susie had no arms and no legs.. what did she get for Christmas? Cancer. Amy was riding on a swing.. who was pushing her? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops