How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

1d

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -25

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Jeffrey's a nigger A refrigerator is white But Jeffrey's not a refrigerator. He's a nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red, Violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the frog die? He had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -27

24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What happened to Liam? He Died.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops