When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a jew and a jew? They both died in the gas chamber.

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A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

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knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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A racist walks into a bar. Nasty accident you had there mate. You should be more careful next time.

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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What did the dog say to the house? Roof

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

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bacon

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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Black, det er geita, banke driten ut av Anders, han griner, dreper ikke, vil du ha telefonen eller? Jeg kommer med den litt senere, skal bare tørke blodet først pønsha han hardt i tryne blør ifra knyttnevene, skal jeg knekke bena på han eller noe? Geita. Ps Pen fitte har du flere bilder av a elle? Hvilket rom?

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It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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