A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

Q) A black man and a white man are playing a basketball game, who will win? A) The one who scores the most points.

Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

Rick Santorum 2012

a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he...

One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

why did joe drown ? he had no arms

police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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