Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman. ym

Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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