- Anti Joke

What did the man with no teeth say? I need some teeth.

What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

Whats worse than losing The Game? The Holocaust

What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? No reply cause Kyle got knocked out by the door.

If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

Autism speaks but not really

Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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