Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

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Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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Aaaaakkkkkiiiiiinnnnfffffeeeeennnnnwwwwaaaa

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Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

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Blake wilkeys hair style

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Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

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Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

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i lost the game

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Anti-jokes

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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