Keanu Reaves

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What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

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women's rights

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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So two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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A Mexican, a Caucasian, and an African-American jump out of an airplane. They all die.

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation. Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation who? Moo.

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Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

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who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops