What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

:O <===============3 :===========3 :======3 :===3 :3 It all makes sense now.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Who's there A serial rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock. Who's There? The Landlord. Your rent's late.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

thumb_up thumb_down -6

your mother

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I leave you with a riddle, I am round. I am an orange. What am I?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops