What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many times has Belle Ahern been hit in the mutt 76. Stupid slut

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a jew, a latino and an aboriginal walk into a bar this is an example of a great inter-racial comunity

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

-Knock Knock -Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the UPS man bring Sara? a box. whats inside it is only Sara's buisness

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops