What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

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A nun with shoes on walks into a bar with her husband.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

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roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

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Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

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There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

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Butt poop.

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It said i can write my own joke so i did.

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True or false , is it hotter in the summer or in the city? False, because blue monkeys don't eat orangutan bones.

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Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

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Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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