How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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Why are Jewish men curcumsized? Because Jewish women wont put their hands on anything that's not 20% off

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

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I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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