Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Jaden McMichael

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

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Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

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Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

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Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

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Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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