What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

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HAHA i just read a joke!!! and i liked it! :D to bad you dont know what page it was on... wanna know?... YOUR..... #1 LALALA

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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Who's there? Knock Knock.

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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what happens every day? People die

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

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Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

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What is an offensive term to refer to black people who lived in the time of the Flintstones? n*ggers

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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