Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo momma is so fat that her cholesterol level is above 240 mg/dL and should highly consider a vegan diet if she wishes to improve.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the ginger cross the road to go to hell

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do poor black guy and poor white guy have in common..................................................... their poor

thumb_up thumb_down -22

On the dora show when they asked where the Monster was why did the arrow point left instead of right?? Because it was scared

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a psychopath, that's why.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops