How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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HAHAHAHAH Shut up Andra no one likes you

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

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Whats funnier than 24.....25

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

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Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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knock knock get lost!

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Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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