a fish swimming in the water swims

roses are red, violets are blue.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Domonic is a gay homo!!!!!!!!!!!! Vagina

Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

What does the name Joe mean? Joe Mama! Egit

What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks have herbivorous diet mainly consisting of wild grasses, berries, as well as agricultural crops when they are available.

i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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