Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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Know what people hated the most? 9-11

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

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What's the deal with brown?

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

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yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

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Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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