I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

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why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

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Do you speak alien? Hola.

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What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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