How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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What do black people and apples have in common? They are both fruit... except for black people

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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What do you call a black man inside a house that is on fire? A fire fighter as well as a hero since he was probably inside the house searching for anyone who was trapped inside

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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What's the difference between a cup of tea and a polar bear? A polar bear is a bear whilst a cup of tea is a beverage

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varför skriver jag på svenska jag vet inte

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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I had a date. She was a pegasister. Since MLP was magical, I disappeared.

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What's funnier than poop? More poop

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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their were 2 muffins. one said hello how are you. the other screamed "A TALKING MUFFIN"

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the jokes are repetitive on this site

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Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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