When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

Women's Rights.

Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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