A black guy walks into a bar. He falls unconscious and an ambulance is quickly called to bring him to the hospital.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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What do you call an Arab on an airplane? A passenger.

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whats the dif...mexicans are gay

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There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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hey how do you turn the Xbox controller off thats easy turn the xbox off.

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What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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