You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

What do you call a hot underaged girl. off limits i am her father.

Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

Why couldn't the blonde screw in the light bulb?? - she happened to be autistic

A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Nothing. He celebrates Kwanzaa.

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

A black man walks into an abbatoir.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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