Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

thumb_up thumb_down +32

If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I am on a escalator.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they already stole them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock knock piss off

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops