Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

what?

What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

Q:what did a keppy kid with a big nose say A:hi im josh Roberts

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

How long did it take azaha to have a shit? Nine months

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

Xzibit

If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

Why is Kyle so gay. Nobody knows

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

roses are head mydick is blue i live in somolia and i killed all the jews

When adolf hitler went to the chippy, He ordered a bock wurst. Later, he ate the whole thing and said he wants another.

This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...