What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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Women.

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Three bars walk into a Jew.

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Sophie Cameron is Gay

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why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

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Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

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why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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a black man kills a family member of a mexican guy. the mexican guy goes to the police, what happens? The mexican guy gets deported back to his country after they realize that he was illegal

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

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What did the Rabbi say to the priest? The holocaust was real and it tore apart my family.

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house. A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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do you know that joke? hmm no.. yaa life!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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