- Anti Joke

Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

What did the young boy get His dad for fathers day? Nothing, his dad died from a very aggresive cancer

What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

A Man: Why does it seem as though you always find what you need in the last place you look? Another Man: Probably because you don't continue to look.

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

There once was a man from nantucket. But he moved to California after he won the State lottery.

What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

What happened when the boys visited Penn State? They got toured around campus and decided that it would be their future college.

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

What's worse than kicking your dog? Eating it.

What's worse than genital warts? Herpes. You can get rid of warts

Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.