How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

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what's the worst thing ever? reality TV shows and singing contest shows

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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Nippies

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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The name "Hunter Barksdale".

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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What happens when you park a new Cadillac with a roll of $100 dollar bills on the dashboard in a black neighborhod? Many residents of that peaceful community will briefly glance at it and admire the wealth of the automobile's owner.

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A cow says moo and explodes.

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Whats worse then getting caught in the rain with no umbrella? Aids.

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I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

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A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

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Why did the cat die? Because it got shot by a teenager who was promply put in juvi and was fined $100,000 for animal abuse. The parents gave up on him and didn't pay the fine or bail and left their son to rot in jail.

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops