What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

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Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

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You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops