Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

whats funnier than hugos penis? Nothing!!!!

A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

I am on a escalator.

"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

Hello

I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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