Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, why the lost election?"

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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why did the white man jump out of the car? because the car was crashing

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Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

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Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

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how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

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what happens when you have A.D.D.? you're EXTREMELY annoying

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

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What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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How do you keep a blond in suspense?

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

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How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

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skurfboards we love fat kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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