If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

Why was Martin Luther King Jr. Shot? Because he was black.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

A woman should not be in the kitchen.

What do you call a loser on a game? A Dirty Hacker

What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

Where's my tractor?

Knock, Knock Who's there? Joseph. Joseph who? Joseph Brown. Oh, hello Joseph! Why don't you come in? No thank you.

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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