Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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how many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?lets go play!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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Matt is not funny.

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Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

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You smell like shit

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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what is 6 + 8 a math equation

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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I have read and agree to the terms of service.

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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What do you call a crocodile in a dentist? I have no idea, but I'd hate to be that dentist.

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A Squirrel gets ready for hybernation. 21 You Stupid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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