what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

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Cows go moo.

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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Reverse psychology never fails.

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girls lacrosse

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Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

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Why is 6 afriad of 7? because 7 killed 8 with a pistol and is now on a killing spree.

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What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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