you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the two eggs in the frying pan say to each other? Nothing, their eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can not talk, therefore we can never find out from the chicken, who is the only thing that knows why it crossed the road. Scientists have study chickens and say that it most likely saw something edible, like a bug or some grain and walked over to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the redneck ask his daughter to get on her knees? His shoe was untied.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Smart Blondes

thumb_up thumb_down +38

there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is the different between a blonde and a rock? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did Liberia say to Texas? Tag, you're it!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

whats worse than 10 dead babies in my garage? 11 dead babies in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms. A: Knock knock! B: Who's there? A: Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops