That awkward moment when the moment isn't awkward.

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WNBA

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I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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Cancer.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

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what is worse the Holocaust or slavery? patantan!

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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Why did the chicken refuse to cross the road? Yo dawg, dat chicken saw dat hoe Sally crossin da road, dat biatch got hit wit a fridge. Dat chicken was like "hell naw, yall must be trippin, i aint finna die over dat shiet homie, peace!"

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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This is not a joke.

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What did the doctor say when he lost his glasses? Where are my glasses?

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How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

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If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

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the real mccoy

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hi patrick

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What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops