What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops