Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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JEWS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

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why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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what did the white guy say to the mexican? mow my lawn asshole

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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Land Rovers

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Joe Biden

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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It burns when I pee sometimes.

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why is the black man black? because he isnit white

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Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

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2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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Are you understanding any of this caboose? I think so, that guy is really a robot and you his boy friend so that makes you.................a gay robot. yes i am a gay robot. -_-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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