What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

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I have no ideas.

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In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

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wnba

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

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tried to think of a great "anti-joke" not creative enough

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

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A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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Q: Whats worse that 10 dead babies in a trash can? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

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HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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