Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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How old is victor? Old

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Knock Knock It's Open!

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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Knock knock Who's there? Joke Joke who? Auntie Joke Great, could you bake me those cookies I like.

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What did the gay man order at Starbucks? Delicious, handcrafted beverages and great-tasting food. The secret to making life better.

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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what's the difference between a white man and a black man? their skin color

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42

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What happens when you shoot a black man? You go to prison because murder is a criminal offense.

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Why did John scream when he came in to his bedroom? He stepped on a nail

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What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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Knock Knock Come in. Come in who? You're a dumbass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops