want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

Penis

Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

That didn't hurt.

A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

Potato.

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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