You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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like my drawing of a white person?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

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Mitt Romney for president.

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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