Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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h

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops