Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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What sucks?

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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You know what's never heard of? Father's Day in Camden.

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I was once raped by an Asian... it didnt hurt

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops