what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

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Why does Jerry sandusky like little boys? Because each and every intellectual human being have different interests

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maddie latino

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Your Mom

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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Q:What's the difference between a duck? A: The higher it flies, the much.

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-What's a real anti joke? -This.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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