call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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What happens when you pour Red Bull on a butterfly without wings? It drowns......

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

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what's worse then droping your phone. 9/11 having sex with the holocaust

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Whats worse that biting into an apple with a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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What do you call two gay men playfully wrestling? Immature.

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Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

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What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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