How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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why did little marwisheafuck want a cat for hanukock because her dad had ciilled a black priest that ate free mdicks out of a mshitfuck

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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A blind man walks into a bar

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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