Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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