Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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Jokes are funny.

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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What is brown and sticky? Poop

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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An asian walks out of math class

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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