Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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World Peace

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops