What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Matt swam through watter. Gaby drowned on dry land.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Dani Barton = Stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what's brown and sticky? a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

arse

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops