Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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What's worse than forgetting a punchline?

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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A fish walks into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops