Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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