What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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womens rights

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Jesus Christ

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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My cat just died.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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