Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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