why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

You dropped something.... Yo lip

what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

I like the color potato.

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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