Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

thumb_up thumb_down

So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Women outside of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops