Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is white and black and red all over.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops