Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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