How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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Faithful men.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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