How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

Your mums a potato

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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