Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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