Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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This is an anti-joke.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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