Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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