Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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