Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

thumb_up thumb_down -13

while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

thumb_up thumb_down -19

This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

thumb_up thumb_down -23

You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops